<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/7763731?origin\x3dhttp://-selfdeceptions.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

alright.
my life is so totally screwed up.
:(
i don't know what the hell is happening larhh.
it seemed that i don't know what's right and what's wrong anymore.
talking to gerald online.
we seriously need some catching up.
we have drifted so much that we're no longer close.
so now,we're reminiscing(don't know how to spell) the past.
it seems that we often regret after something happen,
but its all too late to turn back now.
i've been having some friendship problems now.
i don't really know how to handle it.
things happen so quickly.
how i wish i could turn back time.
take back the words i don't mean to say,
and don't act the way i don't mean to.
everything's different now.
it just feel so different.
so empty.
as if there's something missing.
things aren't what they used to be now.
okay.
shan't type these stupid things anymorelarhh.
doesn't matter.
okay.
school's on as usual.
then come the stress and the pressure.
and the constant reminders that we will have to drop if we fail.
then come the project duedates.
and the tedious cca.
and the irritating awards ceremony rehearsal.
the many homework that's never ending.
the biasedness of teachers who constantly remind me that i have an attitude problem when they just simply enjoy picking on me.
and then the class tests.
and the lousy teaching of n.i.e teachers.
and the many problems that suddenly arise.
the driftings from so many people.
the change in me.
just so many larhhs.
haiis.
what the hell is going on man.
okay.
i think this is such a lame entry.
don't bother reading man.
blog off.

things seem to be going against me.
i don't know who i am anymore.
i really hate myself.
what the hell is happening to my life?
i'm drifting from all my friends.
i know its my fault.
everything's my fault.
but i just feel that they don't really understand how i feel.
fingers are being pointed.
is it just a case of a misunderstanding?
i can't take it anymore.
i really wanna break down and ry.
and forget who i am.
forget that i ever exist.
forget all the unhappy stuffs.
forget the troubles.
i'm self destructing my life.
please wake up.
i can't be who i am.
i can't live my life the way i want it to.
i got to act like i'm happy.
i got to keep everything to myself.
put on a happy front.
so that people won't know.
no one seems to care,
no one seems to be willing to listen.
and no one understands.
breaking away.

i keep the perfect facade; but nobody knows how much i burn deep inside.